Helping or Enabling?

Before becoming a believer I was a world class enabler.  That poor trait didn't just fall away over night, either, but as I grew in my walk with Messiah, I began to discern the signs.  In all fairness to folks who rely on enablers, the enablers are definitely responsible for their role in the problem.  For the most part, folks who need enablers are addicts of some sort, but our society now has so many addictions beyond alcohol and drugs, it truly does take discernment to see the spirit of addiction or control in the situation.  In using the term "spirit" I'm not implying that all addicts are victims of demons, although there often is demonic activity involved in addiction.  Many addictions are psychological.  While drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are not only psychological, but physical addictions as well.  Are you wondering how addiction is the topic in kingdom economy?  As a delivered enabler, please let me share.

I believe enabling is a psychological addiction that is all too often excused, encouraged, and even respected when camouflaged.  Enabling is costly.  It can be costly financially, physically, emotionally, and definitely spiritually.  Enabling is really a form of idolatry.  It literally robs one of time, energy, and gives a very false sense of importance.  An enabler "needs" an addict in their life.  This addict can be addicted to anything from alcohol to shopping to sex.  An enabler is so focused on their own need to be needed, the specific addiction is irrelevant.  The addiction must require the enabler to be involved in some capacity of caretaking or counseling.  The enabler literally gives their time and makes the addict a top priority, robbing time and energy from true responsibilities and what could be genuine accomplishments.  Often enablers will actually contribute financially to "replace" or provide what is omitted or neglected by the addict's behavior and expenses.

The story of the Good Samaritan is a good example of helping without enabling.  First, the victim of thieves was a genuine victim of a specific event.  It was not his lifestyle that had caused his problem.  Second, the Good Samaritan did not set aside his own goal in offering assistance.  The Good Samaritan also obtained qualified help for the time of recovery, the inn keeper.  The passage states that even in all that, he still had business to transact and would check back on his return trip.  His offering help was just that, not his new project!

Messiah gave a perfect example with the man by the pool who attempted to offer excuses about having no help.  Messiah simply asked him, "Do you want to be made whole?"  When Peter met the crippled beggar on his way to the Temple, he clearly stated, he didn't have any money to give him, but in the Name of Y'hshuwah he could rise up and walk.  So often now, an addiction is treated like an illness, and enabling is another's self appointed position of caretaking.  Our society has carefully structured many agencies around addiction and enabling, which have no place in the kingdom.  The time spent on addictive behaviors, including enabling is hay and stubble in the economy of kingdom.


  

Energy

This issue has been addressed before here at the Goshen Gazette, but this time of year it bears repeating.  Many, many folks are just feeling drained, stressed, and exhausted.  Tis the season . . .  The days are short, the nights are long, and for most, the month outlasts the money.  As if those variables weren't enough, we humans seem to live to bring disharmony and share dysfunction, while calling it celebration.  We can wear ourselves out!

As I thought of the lifestyle I used to have, I am so thankful for the change Abba has brought.  I've known for years, when it comes to tithing on earnings, a person can do a lot more with a blessed 90% than with 100% in disobedience.  Now, I've applied that to time and energy as well.  We've discussed the daily time tithe, and to be honest, not all days go as abundantly as others, but I'm realizing this same principle applies to my energy!  The way I spend my energy completely determines my level of exhaustion or exuberance.

Before following Messiah, my career involved frequently being on call.  That translates to often working Sabbath, but definitely being available for work 24/7 some weeks.  I'm still available 24/7, but only 24/6 for business.  Sabbath is reserved for Abba, Y'hshuwah, and rest.  Sometimes I am blessed to fellowship and sometimes there is an ox in the ditch, but there are no plans of work and certainly no buying or selling.   That alone has made all the difference in my health.

As the pressures of holidays feel like a vice this coming week, be sure to take the time tithe with Abba.  Meet Messiah in "the garden" and be renewed.  Regardless of what you celebrate or don't celebrate, even the grocery stores have an anxiety buzz about them as shoppers prepare for gatherings, or simply choose to take advantage of a few sale items.  Stress is just higher this time of year, so energy wanes more rapidly.  Our Creator is the only source of renewed energy, and cutting oneself off from Him to embrace the traditions of man will actually be draining.

I have found myself starting to give into a few ideas of holiday dread, but as I realize what I'm doing, I determine in my heart and mind to walk out II Corinthians 10:4-5 with Philippians 4:8

 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through G-d to the pulling down of strong holds;) 5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of G-d, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Messiah;

    

8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

It's amazing how many stressors simply fly out of my thoughts as I implement these passages.