Helping or Enabling?

Before becoming a believer I was a world class enabler.  That poor trait didn't just fall away over night, either, but as I grew in my walk with Messiah, I began to discern the signs.  In all fairness to folks who rely on enablers, the enablers are definitely responsible for their role in the problem.  For the most part, folks who need enablers are addicts of some sort, but our society now has so many addictions beyond alcohol and drugs, it truly does take discernment to see the spirit of addiction or control in the situation.  In using the term "spirit" I'm not implying that all addicts are victims of demons, although there often is demonic activity involved in addiction.  Many addictions are psychological.  While drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are not only psychological, but physical addictions as well.  Are you wondering how addiction is the topic in kingdom economy?  As a delivered enabler, please let me share.

I believe enabling is a psychological addiction that is all too often excused, encouraged, and even respected when camouflaged.  Enabling is costly.  It can be costly financially, physically, emotionally, and definitely spiritually.  Enabling is really a form of idolatry.  It literally robs one of time, energy, and gives a very false sense of importance.  An enabler "needs" an addict in their life.  This addict can be addicted to anything from alcohol to shopping to sex.  An enabler is so focused on their own need to be needed, the specific addiction is irrelevant.  The addiction must require the enabler to be involved in some capacity of caretaking or counseling.  The enabler literally gives their time and makes the addict a top priority, robbing time and energy from true responsibilities and what could be genuine accomplishments.  Often enablers will actually contribute financially to "replace" or provide what is omitted or neglected by the addict's behavior and expenses.

The story of the Good Samaritan is a good example of helping without enabling.  First, the victim of thieves was a genuine victim of a specific event.  It was not his lifestyle that had caused his problem.  Second, the Good Samaritan did not set aside his own goal in offering assistance.  The Good Samaritan also obtained qualified help for the time of recovery, the inn keeper.  The passage states that even in all that, he still had business to transact and would check back on his return trip.  His offering help was just that, not his new project!

Messiah gave a perfect example with the man by the pool who attempted to offer excuses about having no help.  Messiah simply asked him, "Do you want to be made whole?"  When Peter met the crippled beggar on his way to the Temple, he clearly stated, he didn't have any money to give him, but in the Name of Y'hshuwah he could rise up and walk.  So often now, an addiction is treated like an illness, and enabling is another's self appointed position of caretaking.  Our society has carefully structured many agencies around addiction and enabling, which have no place in the kingdom.  The time spent on addictive behaviors, including enabling is hay and stubble in the economy of kingdom.